I cried last nite...

Last nite was tough tough for me to go thru. OMG... Never I expected to be in that situation again. I tot I am strong enaf to just live with it. Love didnt give me a kol nor sms me except in the morning. I feel like so the END of the world. Bad tots keep running in my mind. The words "We r over", "He doesnt want this relationship" & "He leaving me" keep residing in my mind. I feel like TERRIBLE. I woke up at dawn just to check whether he called or sms. FRUSTRATING to c NONE. I continue sleeping with a broken heart. For the 1st time I tot he leave me oredy. What I expect rite? We made it clear oredy, go on with it until we want it stop.. I tot he wants to quit oredy... I woke up in the morning, feeling sad, bad. I tried my best to act normal, to act happy. But deep inside, I m HURT.

Then, in the office, my fon rings. His name in the screen. Im not happy, nor angry. I feel NEUTRAL. I pick up the fon. The 1st word he said, "Gudmorning, where are you?". W/O me asking y didnt he contact me, he started to explain. I listen to his every word. I said, "Ya, till u LUPA sy kan?, Sy MERAJUK". He laugh n said "Jgn merajuk, fon batt kong, x dpt on lgsg. Ni petang kita p dating". Trying to PUJUK lah tuh. BTW, I am a bit in happy mood, knowing he's fine. So, lets see this evening if he keeps his word.

Oh, yesterday the ex suddenly text me. Talking nonsense & things that makes me more more angry. Seriusly, I feel so much OFFENDED. Y on earth he text me in the middle of the nite saying I take him for GRANTED. OMG ok! I wonder who is the one who showing off the new gf to public. People see, people judge. Stop telling me u wants to take the blame alone so that people stop judging that I was to one who ruined our very relationship. End is End. I know I was the one to blame at the first place. But ur COUNTERATTACK was so much MEAN! To the ex, we are history oredy. Even if I & love will be off 1 day, I wont coming back to u.